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How To Grow Fast - 5 Rules For Growth

Updated: May 12, 2021


"Grow Further Faster"

As a value driven man I have pre-determined 5 Rules that I play by to help determine who I take on as coaching clients and especially who I choose to mentor. These rules require the implementation of disciplines that I both teach and expect from clients that ultimately produces a multiplication effect in personal growth and self respect.


Because the amount of clients I am able to take on is limited I want to make the most of every sacred moment I have been entrusted with. The vision is to take people from daily private disciplines to public cultural influence.


I hope the illustrations and disciplines below will aid you in going in growing further faster.



RULE #1: BE FULLY PRESENT

"A double minded man is unstable in all his ways."


To be double minded is to be in one place physically and another place psychologically. The cultural term for this is often referred to as "FOMO" or "Fear Of Missing Out".


What does both double mindedness and FOMO have in common? It produces a state that many of us have become dangerously comfortable with, anxiety.


How do you diagnose how present you are?


A. Physical: Your 5 Senses

• Sight - Are you looking at what you should be focusing on or are you distracted?

• Smell - Is the scent in the atmosphere causing ease or dis-ease?

• Touch - Is what you are touching / holding / wearing aiding or detering your focus?

• Sound - Are you listening to what's most important or are you distracted?

• Taste - Is what you are consuming creating a shared experience or isolating?


B. Psychological:

• Mind - Is your mind on the here and now or is it elsewhere?

• Emotions - Are you aware of your emotions or unaware?

• Will - Are you resolved in being where you are or are you double minded?


Practical Discipline: Unplug from phones, smart watches, and notifications for the duration of the session.




Rule #2: TELL THE TRUTH

"A man who can't fully believe himself can never fully lead himself."


Have you ever heard of "Imposter syndrome"? It's the deep rooted / often unconscious insecurity that you are going to be found out.


Imposter syndrome isn't an infection that you catch from someone else; it's an infection that is self inflicted in micro doses every time you fail to tell the truth. Every time we lie even on a "micro level" such as affectionately proclaiming; "let's get together soon!" when you have ZERO desire or intention to do so subtly erodes your integrity. Every time you set your alarm to wake up at 4:30AM but hit snooze once 4:30AM rolls around covertly erodes trust in yourself that you can/will follow through.


Ultimately if you cannot tell the truth, you unwilling to face the truth, if you are unwilling to face the truth you have disqualified yourself as a candidate for growth.


Practical Discipline: Don't say things that you don't mean at the expense of projecting a false intent or image.




Rule #3: LEAN IN TO AWKWARD

"Closeness creates clarity. Distance creates distortion."


If you have ever shot a firearm at a target you know that its much easier to hit your mark at 20 yards than it is at 200 yards. In the same way if we are unwilling to lean in when you feel uncomfortable you will always be attacking the exposed problem at 200 yards when you could be attacking it at 20 yards.


Many of us have fallen victim to relational sabotage not because of ones malicious intent but rather the assumption of malicious intent. Distance always distorts but closeness always clarifies. If you have a relevant question that is uncomfortable to ask it probably means you need to lean in and ask it!


Practical Discipline: Refrain from filling uncomfortable moments with filler words or empty conversation. Sit in the tension and embrace it head on.




Rule #4: PROCESS WITH PAPER

"Knowledge processed becomes wisdom possessed."


The Information Age has produced an overload of data stimulation. We have a world that is obsessed with pursuing "knowledge" that has produced a generation of highly educated narcissists. It's no wonder that ADHD, Depression, Anxiety, and Narcissistic Personality Disorder has skyrocketed since 2010.


As a result we have deceived ourselves into thinking that the more we know the better we are. If everyone believes knowledge is power than why are most people SO weak? The truth is knowledge is not the principal virtue; wisdom is.


If knowledge is knowing the facts wisdom is understanding the meaning. You cannot effectively process the "meaning" of life's experiences unless you are willing to slow down enough to process it.


With my clients I like to give permission to use the term "pause to process". This is where you give yourself permission to pause to write out what has triggered a breakthrough. Growth isn't about gaining more information (knowledge). Growth is about gaining deeper understanding (wisdom).


Practical Discipline: Always turn up with a note taking method. Preferred non-digital notebook & pen.



Rule #5: TURN UP

"If you don't turn up you won't go up."


After becoming a Dad I have often wondered what makes a strong father daughter relationship. When my daughter turned one I started to tell her when I left the room; "I'm going to be right back!" After some time this gave her a sense of ease that Dad wasn't going to leave for good! I often wonder what would happen if I told her that I would be "right back" but just used it as an excuse to avoid the fuss of a weeping toddler clinging onto me as I'm trying to get out the door. I would condition my baby girl to believe; "Dad's word can't be trusted, he only turns up for me when it's convenient for him."


In the same way when you fail to turn up for pre-determined mentorship and growth when it is inconvenient it demonstrates to the little kid in you that they aren't worth investing in.


If I've learned anything in being a Dad I have learned that I cannot treat myself in a manner that is inconsistent with someone I am responsible for. If I want the people I am responsible for to turn up, I have to turn up, I want the people around me to go up, I have to go up!


If you are unable to fulfill a commitment to yourself or a mentor (with the exception of emergencies) you will typically know 24-48 hrs in advance. In that case decisively cancel or reschedule.


Practical Discipline: Block out non-negotiable appointments for coaching sessions and pre-determined personal growth settings in your personal calendar.



CONCLUSION: I believe with the application of these rules in your life you will never cease to have a high caliber mentor willing to invest their sacred time in your personal development!

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